Happy Valentines day!
I'm sure to some of you are out picking last minute flowers and chocolates, and others are cursing St. Valentine and wearing all black. I've always been a bit suspicious of Valentine's day as a holiday. I'm pretty sure it was invented by Hallmark and Russell Stover Chocolates. But this year I'm really starting to dislike this holiday. Not just for personal reasons of singledom, but because I really dislike holidays that force you into a specific sentiment.
To me Valentine's Day is kind of like New Years Eve. On New Years Eve we are all supposed to gather with friends to celebrate a New Year. But what if we don't really feel like celebrating? What if we really liked last year, and don't want to see it go? Or conversely, what if we just got laid off and are dreading the future? One could argue the same logic with other holidays like Thanksgiving, but I think other holidays differ. Some holidays are specific to historical events (4th of July), or celebrating a particular individual (MLK day), or simple reasons to gather with friends and family (Thanksgiving and Christmas). Valentine's day, on the other hand, forces us to become romantic with our significant other, or create a statement of sentimentality with those we're with not so sure of; and if you don't create that statement, then that is statement enough. All of the above are reasons enough for me to dislike this holiday. I think if you really love someone you should be celebrating Valentines day everyday, so why create a holiday to make us all suffer?
Romance isn't something that should come once every year, or even whenever it's convenient; if you really love someone romance is something that should be created on a daily basis. From the moment you wake up to the moment rest your head, you should be thinking about what you can do to let her/him know you're thinking of her. You should not perform romantic gestures just because you are evoked to do so, but because it helps create a healthy and strong relationship. And with today's technology all it takes is a little thought and two seconds of your time. Text her and let her know that when she left the bed that morning you couldn't help but grab her pillow and breath in her smell. Or send him a short little e-mail and tell him you think the clock at work is broken because these last three hours are dragging on forever. But of course with the ease of technology the old fashioned gestures are usually the best. Slip a hand written love not in his pocket as he goes to work. Or surprise him with an unannounced visit to his work and sneak him away to a park.
Forget the annual teddy-gram, pajama-gram, puppy-gram, or heart shaped boxes of chocolates. None of those spell love. A day to day dose of romance is the right prescription for every relationship. So just because you're spending your day today trying to make Valentine's day special don't forget to be planning for tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. Like the wonderful Tanya Tucker tells us, the secret to a healthy relationship is to "love him more today, than you did yesterday."